Archive for the ‘Funny stuff’ Category

The Creator of Harley Davidson Motorcycle

March 25, 2011

Arthur Davidson the creator of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation and the slogan “Take The Work Out Of Bicycling” passed-away in 1950.

Sexy girl in bikini on motorcycle

Sexy girl in bikini on motorcycle


At the gate of heaven, St. Gabriel told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Gabriel took Arthur to the Chair room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the creator of woman?” God said, “Ah, yes.” “Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design faults in your invention:

There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end bulge;

Most of the rear-ends are too soft and shake too much;

The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;

It gossips constantly at high speeds;

And the maintenance costs are shocking.”

“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God, “hold on.” God went to his cosmic super computer typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

Sexy girl in blue bikini on motorcycle

Sexy girl in blue bikini on motorcycle

“Well, it may be true that my creation is imperfect,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my creation than yours.”

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Shrinking butts – is it for men?

December 17, 2010

A new study in the UK on woman ass size reveals:

80% of the women think their asses are too fat

15% of the women think their asses are too skinny

The other 5% say they don’t care, they love him, he’s a good man and would have married him anyway. :))))

For centuries, women have tortured, teased and starved themselves in the hope of reaching that ideal body size. According to a body survey in the UK mag Fabulous, women claim their ideal body size is a 6. When asked, the men said they though the ideal female body size should be a 10.
Which begs the question, who have women been starving themselves for? When you ask your guy, “Do you like skinny girls?” and he says “no,” instead of reflexively calling him a liar and hitting him, maybe you should listen.

He’s been telling the truth all along. So maybe it’s time to cut out the unending parade of diets and accept the fact men like women the way they look, maybe even more so with a few more pounds.

Read more on how Alice Howard from Glam UK shrank her ass

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Hi Man – Can you call a Crane?

August 4, 2010

Some guys can make your day – this one surly did it

car in the water

I could have sworn I hit the brake pedal!
Car upside down in the bay – see guy standing on it?
Please please call out the wrecker!

Coming back up…coming…coming

car coming out of water

Coming…coming….coming…almost there

Ooops!

I could have sworn I set the brakes on that truck !

Time to get a Bigger Crane!

big crane

Ok, we got the car…let’s get the other wrecker now!

Ooops! O…O…oohhh No!!!!!!!

Suggested reading for men

Best team – 2010 FIFA World Cup

July 4, 2010

Greener Grass – Cow and Bulls

June 25, 2010

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

And it seems there is always light at the end of the tunnel

But with such friends who need enemy

Twiddle-Dee & Twiddle-Dum

A Polish man and a divorce lawyer in America

June 16, 2010


A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day:
The Polish guy rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

‘Do you have you any grounds?’
‘Yes, an acre and half, and a nice little home.’

‘No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?’
‘It made of concrete.’

‘I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?’
‘No, we have carport, and not need one.’

‘I mean. What are your relations like?’
‘All my relations are still in Poland.’

‘Is there any infidelity in your marriage?’
‘We have hi-fidelity stereo, and good DVD player!’

‘Does your wife beat you up?’
‘No, I always up before her.’

‘Why do you want this divorce?’
‘She is going to kill me!’

‘What makes you think that?’
‘I got proof!’

‘What kind of proof?’
‘She is going to poison me!
She buy a bottle at drugstore, and put on shelf in bathroom.
I can read, and it say:
”Polish remover….. ….”

Weird jobs around the world

June 1, 2010

A mobile toilet

Horse Whisperer in England

Deodorant tester in Germany

Plumber in Hungary

Delivery service employee in Korea

Zoo keeper in America

Ditch Digger in Poland

State of mind – Men Vs. Women

May 4, 2010

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that, in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

So, a student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether ‘computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la Computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your income on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have found a better model.

Send this to all the smart women you know…and all the men that have a good sense of humor

A lawyer and a stunning blond

April 3, 2010

A prosperous lawyer missed his flight back home and had to stay the night away.

stunning blond

He went down to the local bar and after few drinks he felt somewhat passionate. Next to him was beautiful well-proportioned figure blond and he proposed to her to spend the night with him for $1000.

When he was ready to leave the next morning, he told her he didn’t have that much money in cash, but would have his secretary mail her a check for it, made out with a memo of RENT FOR APARTMENT, to avoid any embarrassment.

However, on the way to the office, after thinking carefully, he decided the night hadn’t been worth what he’d agreed to pay. As a result, he had his secretary send a check for $500 instead, and enclosed the following explanatory note:
Dear Madam:
“Enclosed is a cheque for the amount of $500 for rent on your apartment. I am sending this amount instead of the amount originally agreed upon, because when I rented this apartment, I was under the impression that:

1. It had never been occupied
2. There was plenty of heat
3. It was tight and small

Last night, I found that it had been occupied many times, that there wasn’t any heat, and that it was entirely too large!”

Upon receipt of the note, the Blond immediately returned the check, with her note:
“I am returning the cheque for $500. I cannot understand how you could expect such a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied. As for the heat… there is plenty of it there if you know how to turn it on. As for the size, it’s not my fault if you didn’t have enough furniture to furnish it.

Who is the BOSS?

March 22, 2010

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who the boss is?

I should be in charge, said the brain

Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.

I should be in charge, said the blood

Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.

I should be in charge, said the stomach

Because I process food and give all of you energy.

I should be in charge, said the legs

Because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.

I should be in charge, said the eyes

Because I allow the body to see where it goes.

I should be in charge, said the rectum

Because I’m responsible for waste removal.

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story?  Even though the others do all the work….

The ass hole is usually in charge